Time passes

I have not had access to my computer as a munchkin has kidnapped it alot lately, so I have not had alot of random things to get down.

John has been gone 4 days today, 4 more to go.  Have I missed him, yes.  Will I be glad when he is back, very much.  Have I done well here on my own, I feel I have.  When I was in Saudi Arabia, a lady used a phrase I liked alot, "When you are on the dance floor, you dance." That is what these last 4 days have been.  I have danced. 

On Thursday the ministry of eduation decided it was not safe for kids to go to school during the police strike.  Therefore Gareth has been out fo school for 4 days.  Every place I have been and everything thing I have done for the last 4 days, he has been with me.  That causes many different emotions in me.  I have truly enjoyed getting to spend the time with my child.  He is old enough that I can carry on intelligent conversations with him and he can participate.  That has allowed him to be a good companion while I very don't know anyone here.     On the other hand he is still young enough that he needs to reassuring during the transition we are going through.  Since we have been at home most of this time, he also needs a playmate.  Since we have not really gotten to know the other families here, I am it.  Gareth has a wonderful imagination that allows him to slip to other worlds that he creates in his mind.  I am not nor have I ever been as creative with my imagination as he is.  This causes frustration between us.  When we go out I have a huge feeling of responsibility for making sure my child stays safe.  This feeling I would nto feel if I was doing these things alone.

I started walking on the beach the day Gareth started school.  I say that I am going for exercise.  I don't know how much of that I am doing.  It is nice to feel the sand between my toes, to feel the cool water on my ankles as a rogue wave reaches the shore, and to hear the ocean as it keeps moving.  I think I am refueling my soul as much as exercising.  Gareth has been my companion for the last few days.  Our outings are more of science experiments of looking at what lives in the tidal pools that are in the boulders or analyzing a dead crab that has washed on shore.  They are fun trips.  When I am alone and see the other people on the beach (all of the beaches in Bahia are public), but I do not study them.  When Gareth is with me, I am more untrusting of others. I make sure we stay away from men.  I don't allow people to walk behind us.  I am just more aware. 

Yesterday we drove to a Salvador North Shopping.  We needed to refill the kichen, and we needed to get out of the compound.  This mall is very close to where we live, but  I had only been to it when we came in November.  The food court is a nice size, so I knew we could find something we liked.  I was in the mood for sushi (awesome sushi everywhere here).    I got Gareth settled in the backseat with a book ( once he is involved reading I dinosaur could run by the car and he would not notice) and off we went.  I am pretty proud of myself.  During our trip I was able to order food at a restaurant, buy groceries, and get lost and unlost in the car.  It amazes me how it feels like I climbed a mountain when all I did was order sushi, pay for it, and got what I wanted.